“’Beige Bitch’ won’t stomp on your dreams. She just thinks ‘ordinary’ has far too many negative connotations and wants to remind people that perfection literally doesn’t exist.”
Feeling that mid-new year burnout? Ever looked at your friend’s wedding photos and felt magnificently inferior? Then ‘Beige Bitch’ is the show for you.
Written and performed by Emily Carr, with direction by Jackson McGovern and dramaturgy by Kaitlyn Rogers, this sassy one-woman show is set to hit the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in April.
Theatre Haus had the pleasure of sitting down with Emily to discuss all things mediocre and middle-of-the-road.
“Everyone around me is acquiring legitimate assets and the most valuable thing I own is an antique dresser with sticker marks on it from when I plastered Freddie Prince Jr all over it. I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling.”
Carr’s brand new comedy performance invites audiences to throw down their senses of grandeur and achievement and embrace their inner vanilla through song, honest comedy and a painfully relatable sentiment about being, well, average. Carr commented that while this show may seem intended for a specific audience, it really is the perfect night out for anyone unsure of their place in the world.
“Beige Bitch isn’t just for artists, it’s for anyone who sets a high standard for themselves – whether you’re an actor, parent, boss, partner, employee – or you just feel a little bit lost while the world crumbles around you. It’s for anyone that’s had a crappy day and berated themselves for not ‘doing better’.
“We internalise more negativity about ourselves than positivity and that needs to change.”
As for what was the catalyst for this show, Carr recounted her run-in with a brutally straightforward makeup artist.
“‘Baby girl, when I first met you, I thought maybe you were a little beige, maybe a little bit vanilla, but after watching you up there you are on FIRE. I wanna be friends with you!’ The good old back-handed compliment. Thus, a ‘Beige Bitch’ was born.”
For audiences, this show comes at a perfect time, ensuring that it’s okay to be just okay. Many of us have felt pressure, especially during the coronavirus pandemic.
“If anything, I hope audience members will relieve some of the pressure we put on ourselves in our day-to-day life. Especially after a pandemic where we’ve been forced to look inward at our life choices instead of booking the usual getaway to escape our inner demons.”
A one-woman show is a feat to behold, but Carr is up for the challenge.
“I’m used to collaborating with people on creative works but I’ve loved the challenge of writing a solo show and getting the opportunity to perform it on stage. It both thrills and terrifies me, which is the best place to be.
“Performing a solo show doesn’t feel isolating, either, because you build a relationship with the audience and there’s so much room to play in that medium… whether they like it or not.”
As for advice on burnout, Carr has this to offer.
“Listen to Bo Burnham’s song ‘Shit’’. Start your day with it. Dance it out. Know you’re not alone. And ease up on the doom scrolling and comparing your success to others – unless you enjoy self-torture, and it drives your competitive nature to do better in a healthy, positive way (said no one ever).
“Also, I have a friend who used to work so hard in a day that she would forget to take pee breaks. Don’t do that.”
For those who find themselves also overworked or struggling to keep up with society’s standards, Carr adds: “Book a ticket to ‘Beige Bitch’ and she will perform an exorcism of perfectionism on you.”
‘Beige Bitch’ performs from 11-17 April 2022, at The Motley Bauhaus in Melbourne.
If you’re planning on swinging by the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Carr also recommends Alex Hines’ show ‘To Schapelle and Back’ at The Butterfly Club from 11-24 April 2022.
Are you ready to colour the world with your inner beige? Grab tickets for ‘Beige Bitch’ via the Melbourne International Comedy Festival website.